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My Blog


Time to invite God in.

Posted on September 14, 2010 at 10:31 AM Comments comments (62)
Time to invite God In
There should never be a time that you don't invite God into your individual life. As a couple it is very important to invite him in together as one so you can receive His guidance for your lives as a unit. He is the head of your family and before the body can move it must get the signal from the head. God's Word as given to us from the bible emphasizes the significance of our spiritual condition. It tells us the importance of being on the same page as a couple spiritually. We can not reach our full marriage potential if we are in different places spiritually.
This fall as our ministry begins its new sessions of workshops our focus is on intimacy. We will begin with what is known as spiritual intimacy. God's plan for his married couples is to obtain intimacy on all levels not just physical. Spiritual intimacy enhances our physical intimacy to a level that expands us beyond our wildest dreams. We become connected deep down into the core of our being and we become one in every way. Spiritual intimacy is the foundation for all intimacy between a loving couple.
Any good construction is only as strong as its base. By seeking spiritual intimacy it allows the couple to develop trust, oneness, and closeness. It places God as the Head of the household. It completes the marriage making it stronger. By taking the focus off of self and selfish needs and placing it on God and Kingdom building. It gives the couple a secure center to work from as it introduces hope and joy into the marriage. It provides a home environment where there is safety, peace, love and forgiveness. Most of all it reduces conflict between the couple.
As you start reflecting on your marriage or relationship this fall make sure to invite God in. It's time!!! If you have not begun to develop spiritual intimacy now is a great time to start. You can start by first talking about it. Discuss your true beliefs. Talk about your religious backgrounds. Did you attend church growing up and how does that affect you as a married person today. Many of you reading this now will think that this is something that the couple should have investigated at the beginning of the relationship, and I too agree. However in most cases spirituality is not something that most new couples discuss, and many never have pre-marital counseling.
Second do you as a couple attend church? If not, a good first step is to find a good bible based church that both of you agree to attend. Then attend regularly and get involved in your church family. Find out from God what work He wants you to do in the church. We all have jobs and there is nothing too big or too small when it comes to Kingdom building.With the right church home you will be provided with the spiritual foundation you need for learning and relationships. As a couple you should join the marriage ministry at your church, if the church does not have one then join an outside one such as 2-R-1-N CHRIST. As you grow and learn then maybe you can become mentors to other couples and bring this type of ministry to your church.
Third learn how to pray together. At first this may make you uncomfortable because prayer is very intimate, but that is the key to open the gates to spiritual intimacy as a couple. As you continue to do it you will become more comfortable and you will desire to connect together more often in this way with God.
Fourth you must study God's Word by reading and learning your bible. As we stated above being a part of a marriage and relationship ministry will teach you a lot. You must also go to regular bible study sessions and read and study the material. This is something great to do together. Obtain other books that are  relevant to your needs. These sources are good to use to address your toughest questions.
All in all we must remember that God created the union of marriage. He is the ultimate source. We need to keep Him as the focal point in our relationship. The beauty of it all is that when a couple achieves spiritual intimacy as God intended it to be everything else enhances to a super degree. Spiritual intimacy will provide power to you as a couple. You will be able to walk together and never touch the ground because your foundation is built on the Rock of Christ.

Autumn is here dates should be near

Posted on September 13, 2010 at 9:37 AM Comments comments (69)
 Autumn is a great time to still plan dates outside however you may want to go out the house but do something indoors. So with that in mind and the fact that this time of the year is a reflective time it would be good to plan educational dates. Now please don't stone me just yet. These dates can be fun and you can learn something at the same time.
For example you could plan a date at one of the many museums downtown. You could pick one and then browse around finding out as much information as you can. You could have lunch or dinner there as you discuss your findings. You could then just stroll around talking about what you discovered or what you really didn't like. If you like art there are many galleries you could go to. As you brows you could talk about what you like and didn't like. You could find out more about the artist at one of the local bookstores as you have coffee or tea at one of the cute shops downtown.
The good thing is that this type of date will be either free or very cheap. There are many types of museums that you can go to such as trains, airplanes, old cars, sports, dolls and history. You could go to places such as Mount Vernon, Gettysburg, or Williamsburg where you can enter a time past. Play with it pretend that you are back there. Get into the dress, food and era. You can have pictures taken in the attire of the day so you can remember the date. You could eat at one of the restaurants that serve the same type of food that was eaten during that period of time. Some of these places if you have the funds will have places for you to stay the night.
You could also find information on the different sightseeing areas where you could go up in the mountains and over look the valleys. You could learn about the local wildlife and plants. You could go to Luray Caverns and experience being in a cave like dwelling and then obtain more information about the caverns.
Another way of doing an educational date is to sign up together to take a class at the local community college. They offer many inexpensive classes that last a couple of weeks or a couple of weekends. Find something that you both would like or you can pick something that would help you improve your home. You could take a class on money management or planning for your future. Classes on business that you two may want to open. It will give you something to do on your weekly dates and something to talk about as you study together.
One outstanding educational date night adventure would be to attend bible study together and then over coffee/tea discuss the lesson. Many churches are offering free sessions on many aspects of the Christian life. This date will allow your spiritual intimacy to grow along with your emotional and educational as well.
You could go in another direction with the educational date night such as taking piano or guitar lessons,dance classes, photography, computer skills, cooking or gardening. There is so much you can do as you take a date night to learn. It will keep the brain active and its great for keeping you young.
If you want to combined physical activity with learning you could take yoga, karate, aerobics, boot camp or work with a trainer. You will not only learn but look and feel good after the class ends.
Of course at the end of the date you could return home and cuddle as you talk about all you have learned on your date. While talking caress and enjoy the feel of your spouse/mate. This is your time. As always even with educational dates end it with your well deserved physical intimacy. If you don't ever connect together that way at any other time make sure that all date nights end in becoming one physically. Unless its a health reason and even then come up with some other way to achieve that connection.
Invite God into this time of togetherness with thanksgiving and praise. Never forget this gift of love that He has blessed us with.

Don't Fall into a RUT!

Posted on September 12, 2010 at 10:58 AM Comments comments (72)
If you have been married or in a relationship for awhile its very easy to get into a rut. Even if you are the couple who have date nights after awhile you will notice that you are doing the same old things. Going to dinner at the local chicken or burger joint then going to a movie where one of you or both fall asleep and you have to buy the movie on dvd anyway. You may decide to just stay home and be together as you watch your dvd or cable tv. You may play the same game each and every week. Before you know it you just rather sleep on date night.

We understand that most of us won't be able to do exotic things like sky diving or traveling on an African Safari, if you can then go for it, but there are ways to find adventures in your own hometown and within your budget.
Do something out the ordinary; discover a new and exciting activity for both of you. Rock climbing, skating, snorkeling, line dancing in the park, bike riding on a nature trail, riding on a barge, acting out in a historic battle, well you get my drift find something that you can do outside that will add physical activity along with adventure.
Again one of the best ways to find a new adventure is to check your local newspaper and see whats happening that week. It could be going to a dog show, a chicken plucking competition, a Renaissance fair, or a watermelon seed-spitting contest. Let your minds soar to another level and just have fun. You never know the both of you may discovery a new hobby.
Remember being creative adds spice to your date nights and adventure will keep you in shape. Take turns planning your adventure dates and see who can come up with the best one. The winner gets to do anything that they choose during your after date love sessions.  After your adventure date stop and get a lite meal. Take it home light some candles and take a bubble bath or relaxing shower together. Have fun drying each other off as you talk about your date. Then sit down and feed each other the meal you brought home as you listen to your favorite music and just relax. End your evening creating adventure with each other physically seeing just how creative you can be.
As always end your evening giving God thanks for his gift of love then just simply fall asleep as you cuddle one another. Only you can keep the boring out of your date nights. Don't fall into the "do the same old thing" rut!!!

Get Intimate with commnication

Posted on September 11, 2010 at 9:49 AM Comments comments (71)
Friends of Intimate Conversation
 *use conversation to learn and understand more about your spouse or mate*
*develop interest in your spouse's favorite topics of conversation*
*balance conversation: both sides have to talk and listen!*
*give undivided attention to each other by eliminating distraction like the TV and newspaper etc. Focus on each other and communicate!*
Enemies of Intimate Conversation
*forcing people to agree with you*
*dwelling on mistakes, past and present*
*using conversation to punish one another*
We are a couple because God has placed us together and we need to keep working on being a loving unit. Remember all the things that you talked about when you were dating. Revisit some of them while creating new things. Joke and laugh as you whisper "sweet nothings" into each other's ear. Play with the words. Create code words that only the two of you could understand and respond to. As we found this summer we could talk for hours about all the things we still want to do together as a couple. We also created some very funny "sweet nothings" that has brought us tremendous joy and togetherness.
Work on your "Love talk" or your "sweet nothings". Don't loose this part of intimacy because of neglect, apathy, or laziness. Remember being a married couple is a gift from God. We should not tarnish any part of that wonderful gift.

You can be happy by making your partner happy!

Posted on September 9, 2010 at 5:46 PM Comments comments (68)
You can be happy by making your partner happy!
You can keep yourself happy by finding ways to make your partner happy. Watch persistently for ways to please, praise, and protect each other without expecting something in return. In other words develop an attitude of service. Serving your partner is a key principle toward building a solid marriage or relationship. This does not mean you act as a slave or a doormat for abuse. What this means is that you have identified that in order to have a great marriage or relationship you need an attitude of service and sacrifice. Its simply putting the needs and wants of your partner before your own and reaping the reward of their gratitude and appreciation for your efforts. Their response will bring joy and happiness to you and in return they will want to service you in a way that will allow you to feel  felt when you serviced them. Therefore allowing the happiness to travel back and forth while allowing the marriage to go to another level of passion and togetherness.
what they
Developing an attitude of service towards one another is a constant work in progress. Both of you should commit to spending at least twenty minutes each day thinking of and inventing ways that you can meet your spouse's/mate's needs.
Guys: study your wife/mate and understand what speaks to her heart. Ask yourself often if you are providing that for her. Become creative by finding new ways to love her, support her and encouraging her.
Ladies: Always remember to respect him. This is very important and speaks volumes about the love you have for him. Listen to him and his stories no matter how long they are. Engage him in conversations about his work, hobbies, and passions and don't interrupt. Empathize with him when he's unsure of himself and offer sound advice but let him know that whatever he decides you are there supporting him with love.
We are living during a difficult period of time. We are being pulled from every direction. Keep in mind that God created us to be together as one in Him so we can have peace while dealing with the ways of this world. Don't throw God's gift of peace, joy and love away because we don't take the time to tend the garden of our love. Our first ministry is to cultivate the garden of marriage, keeping it pure and holy unto God. 
Enjoy the summer with your family and friends but remember at the end of the day to make sure the one that is laying beside you feels loved!!!