Do you think that posting about your marriage on Facebook is a good thing or a bad idea? While I feel that it's a great arena for positive encouragement, mentoring and teaching I find that many use it to brag or provide a false image of their union to make the world think that they are happy when they are not. 

Recently we are seeing people get married one moment and then less than three months they are filing for divorce. Many of these marriages are blasted in front of our faces because these people are considered famous or everything that they do is public knowledge. 

 

There was a time I would not feel for these so called celebrities. I would have thought that they got what they sort...fame. However now i know that people are just that people. We want love and companionship no matter who we are. We all have our ups and our downs but at least when we are down or make a mistake the world does not need to know about it. 

 

Marriage is so important to us that whenever something is going on that involves marriage we look into it. So when a famous singer announced that she and her husband were divorcing after only 16 or 19 days (not sure of the exact number) my heart just hurt. I was upset and felt like here we go again another couple jumping into marriage and pretending. Another couple who does not hold the marriage commitment as sacred. When I voiced this my very own daughter corrected me.

 

She said "mom its not her fault. She didn't know that this would happen. From what I read they had friends who interfered and she found it impossible to be together as a couple. I really think she wanted her marriage." Her statement made me stop and look at the situation more closely. While I still had my reservations I had to wonder why this marriage lasted only days and another couples lasted only two months.

 

I came to one conclusion. While I have no information about the two couples. I'm not sure if they sort counseling or not but I do know that every couple should have pre-marital counseling before they say those "I Do's". As an officiate I marry a lot of couples and whole myself accountable for their union as God holds me. Many couples who seek our service don't use them because I make it clear that they must take the six-week premarital counseling course. 

 

This course is set up so that each aspect of their life is identified with a scenario that the couple as well as myself can discuss. The couple has to talk about as well as write out their answers to the questions. At the end of the course we talk about anything that concerns them face to face. They always have a written account of their sessions for future problems. 

 

Having these sessions are no guarantee that you will have a happy and lasting marriage but these sessions offers you insight as to how your marriage will progress. It offers the couple tools that they can use to help with possible stumbling blocks. It allows them to talk about potential concerns before they happen and it allows the couple to show each other how they will naturally react to the situation.

 

Many couples are so excited about being in love they forget that marriage is suppose to be for a lifetime. Many things can go on in a lifetime. People grow and change marriage does the same thing. Starting out in marriage with realistic goals and holding each party accountable for their role in the marriage. 

 

We teach that God is the Head of the marriage and that all truth is in God. Our marriage must be given over to Him and we must follow His direction. We must remember that marriage was created by Him and it is He who can tell us what is needed and how to last together for a life time.

 

Our marriage ministry has placed a six week pre-marital counseling session online for those couples to obtain and we don't have to be the officiate but we will answer their questions and give them God's guidance. Marriage is too important to enter into it lightly or without help. We must understand each other and attempt to go into it to last for the duration of our lives. We must learn that the couples goal is to become one together in Christ Jesus.

 

My prayer is that those celebrities who are going through this difficult period  would seek God to comfort them and to show them who their true mates are. Also that all couples before marriage seek counseling so that they have a chance to have that bliss know as a happy loving marriage.   

I am a lover of fiction. That is the best way for me to relax. To sit down with my favorite beverage and in my cozy chair. With my blanket with the arms already on it that way I won't get cold as I turn the pages of my book or press the bottom on my nook. Don't get me wrong I love reading the latest vampire craze. However what gets me is to see that the only way it seems that anyone can be in love or have a happy marriage is to be with a vampire.

 

I do understand the Twilight craze and True Blood. In fact I like both of these (well maybe not all of the Twilight saga) and they make the vampire lover so alluring. He out shines any man that God could ever create. But lets face it people not only is it fiction if this so call lover existed he or she would be dead. How in the world could anyone want to be touched by something dead? Having a spouse that when you touch them they feel cold as ice. When you lay on their chest there is no heartbeat. And in the latest part of the Twilight saga Breaking dawn she not only marry the vampire but gets pregnant. Ok this is a stretch even for me. A dead man creating life with a living woman....really!!!

 

Believe it or not there are ladies and some men who are secretly wishing that they could marry a vampire. How crazy is that? Has marriage sunk that low that we would rather be with a fictious dead man or woman who happens to come out at night and live on the blood of the living. Is that what love and marriage is all about? Us desiring to share our intimate lives with an undead creature.

 

Sure its fun and entertaining and really would make a great date night movie adventure. But its when I see or hear people emulating the vampire life because they would rather be this creature than what God has made them thats when I start to see just how sick the world is becoming. I'm for married couples playing out their fantasies with each other during their datenight fun time however that's where it should end.

 

Many reading this may think that I'm taking it to the extreme. But how much does TV and movies influence the lives of the young and the lonely?

I know for one when I was young and read the romance novels I expected life and love to be just that way. I looked for the knight in shinning amour. I expected my married life with my knight to be happily ever after. But the truth of the matter is that we are living in the real world.

 

A world that's hard and some times uncaring. A world that will not show love in the way that it was created to be. That's why we need God. We need Him to guide us into all truth and teach us how to love each other and to be mates for life. When we follow the creator of love and marriage than we will be able to endure in this harsh world. We will be able to stay together during the hard seasons of marriage.

 

We will desire each other instead of looking at fiction and wanting our lives to be like the minds of a gifted writer. Marriage is always a work in progress. When we remember that then there is nothing that will come our way that we can not work together with God as our leader and solve.

 

Personally I don't do well with cold. I don't like cold weather and I know I could not live with a cold dead person and having that person drinking my blood or even the blood of animals to live. That person who could never walk in the sun light or as the latest vampire stories they can walk in the sun light but will glow and appear strange. This is fiction and makes a wonderful spooky story. But that's where it stays in fiction land.

 

When we get married we come together to become one in Christ Jesus. We build our lives on the rock of God and there is nothing that will bring us down as long as we follow the real author of the life novel.

 

Don't get caught up in the nonsense of the world. Remember that the Creator makes all the rules. Love the living and enjoy one another as you grow together. Allowing Jesus to direct and guide your union.

 

So what do you think?..... let's talk about it.

LOVE

 a simple four letter word that packs so much meaning. We all have our concepts of that word. Many wars have been started in the name of love. Couples break up because they have different ideas of what love is. When asked you may get many answers. Some may say that love is a deep feeling of happiness. Others will say that love is an attraction. There are those who will say that its deeper than just liking someone. Its more than just friendship.

 

You have many who may think of love only on the physical terms meaning that love is a physical act. You have your bible scholars that will give you the meaning of unconditional acceptance. They will tell you that its a planned choice to love instead of an emotional one.

 

You will have yet still those who believe that love is only emotional or just intellectual or psychological. The thing is this when asked each person will have their own preconceived notion of love. Therein is where the problem lies. Most couples never take the time to find out what their mate may think love is.

 

When met with difficult seasons of marriage they result to thinking that the other is not showing them love. Many times that person is showing the love that they know and feel. Unless the other spouse fully understands what their mates concept of love is then they will never know if they are truly being loved by their spouse.

 

The bible teaches us that we have not because we don't ask. Such a simple thing to do. One day when you are not in conflict just relax and ask your spouse to tell you what they believe love is. Then you tell them what you see love as. Meet in the middle and always attempt to love your spouse in the way that they want to be loved. That is the choice in loving. Choosing to love your mate in the way that they would want to be loved.

 

Now the next time you are in a relax non-physical stimulating moment and just need to get your talk on I personally think that you need to ask a question.

 

How about this:

Honey....what does love mean to you?

 You never know it might lead you to that glorious physical moment afterwards!