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Happy Marriage Day

Posted on January 2, 2014 at 8:31 PM Comments comments ()
We just came out of the holiday season so many would think that they don't want to hear about another holiday. I understand but lets take a moment to just look at things. Everyone loves a holiday. It's a time when people come together to just fellowship and have a great time.
With that type of thinking in mind then having a holiday any time you want would be a great way to just enjoy each other. This leads me to look at our marriages in another way. As a couple you can create your very own "happy marriage day". Not your anniversary but a day whenever you need it to celebrate your marriage. It could be a new tradition that you and your spouse creates that will allow the two of you to focus on each other for just a day of marital love.

A time that you choose to make your spouse feel special for just a day. My suggestion would be to just surprise your spouse with this special day every now and then. As a wife this is something that I would love and would make sure that you are thanked in a way that you would be glad that you thought about this day just for me. Likewise ladies your man would be so humbled and thrilled to know that you appreciated him so much that you created a day that was just about him. He would go out of his way to let you know that he loves and appreciates you for making him feel like a king.

This new year do something different create a day whenever you feel like it and call it "Happy Marriage Day". Let your spouse know that you love and appreciate them by inventing a day that's just for them. Now make sure that the day is not your normal anniversary. Remember with "happy marriage day" you can do it one day a year or every month if you want to. Its up to you as to how you want to do it but please just do it. Make marriage unique and special. Nothing like anything thing else.

Marriage God's way is under attack and we need to bring back the love and uniqueness in the sanity of the union. The world can call it anything that they want but God has a special place for this union and so shall we. Begin this year by changing your marriage and placing your union as your number one focus once more. Just think whenever you need a holiday then just give your spouse a "happy marriage day" and enjoy the fellowship.


From This Day Forward

Posted on August 1, 2013 at 4:50 PM Comments comments ()
From this day forward, I make a promise whatever happens you shall not walk alone. I’ll stand by your side, and sleep in your arms. I’ll be the joy in your heart and the food for your soul. I will bring out the best in you always, to be the best I can be, just for you, to celebrate with you in the good times, to struggle with you in the bad. Always your love, always your best friend. 

The above paragraph is the beginning of the wedding vows that I sometime use when I'm officiating. In fact during the last wedding the couple chose this one. As I was saying it and having the couple repeat it I like to watch their faces. In nine times out of ten both begin to cry at this point. I have to fight back the tears so I can continue with the rest of the ceremony myself in most cases.

I have the couple repeat after me together as I'm saying this part of their vows. They are facing each other and speaking to one another as their love ones look on. It's a way for them to make their wedding vows more practical yet loving before they go into their individual ones. As I listened to the last couple I looked over at my own husband. He acts as my assistant during the many ceremonies. He smiled at me and we both knew that this opening had great memories for us as well.

Then their words resonated into my ears and heart and once the wedding was over my husband and I sat in the car and talked about the meaning of those words.We focused on the intimacy of the vows. As it opened with "from this day forward". Just the opening offered changed for any couple. It states that a promise will be made on the day of their wedding. One that you don't plan to break. It breaks down what the promise is...that they will never walk alone. They are promising each other to be there so that as a couple neither will have to worry about being left by themselves.

Each one has determined certain things such as:
Standing by each other's side
Sleeping in each other's arms
Being the joy in each other's hearts
The food for each other's soul

From there each couple vows and promise to bring out the best in each other always and to allow their partner to bring out the best in them. They promise each other and God before all who loves them that they would celebrate together in the good seasons and struggle together during the bad seasons always united in marital love. Then in the end just going back to the wonderful joy of real deep committed love. However not just intimate romantic love but love of two friends and lovers.

As we sat looking at the beautiful garden that the wedding took place and saw the joys as the couple celebrated their union, we smiled and recommitted our love for one another. Those words still meant a lot to each of us. That when we stood in front of our officiant and friends so many years ago that we wanted to always be each others lover and each others best friend. 

Sometimes just go back and revisit the vows that you made on your wedding day. Remember the love then and look at the love now. In our case while that day was so great and I know how much I loved him after over 30 years I know that I love him even more now. Because now we have seen the promises made come full circle. We have laid in each other's arms. We have not been alone since we became one. We have been the joy and food for each other during good times and bad. We have struggled together.

We have praised together and we have laughed together. Then in the end of it all we have been each others best friend. Seeing, that our love was protected and sheltered from harm. We have been intimate with each other on all levels of intimacy and no matter what we want the best for the other. 

So in the end we begin with open promises but we end up with those promises and vows coming to life. Marriage is more than a piece of paper. More than a cause. More than just material and lawful benefits. Marriage is a celebration of a lifetime relationship of unity between the couple and God. The one who formed the union in the first place. Take time to see your love at the beginning of your marriage and now just to see where you are in the whole scheme of marital love.

All we can say is that: From this day forward.....true love has no expiration date!!!   


Hall Pass A Week Off From Marriage

Posted on November 1, 2012 at 2:15 PM Comments comments ()
I have been watching TV more since I retired. Mostly because I'm home many times alone while my husband still works. Many time the TV is on talking to me. Then there are times that I actually stop and watch all or some parts of a show. Recently I watched part of a show where there were two couples who were married. Since I didn't see it from the beginning I have to assume some of the plot. So what I deduced was that the couples were having some problems or had become complacent or both.

The wives decided that they would give the husbands a week off from marriage. Just like in school when you are allowed to leave the class to do whatever that teacher would give you a hall pass. Which means that you have permission to be out of class for however long that pass allows. What these wives did was to give the husbands a week long hall pass where they could live as if they were never married. The wives took the children and went away. The husbands and the wives could have sex, date, party, or anything that they felt was needed that they were not getting at home with their spouse. 

This movie had me thinking "what would I do if we both decided to have a week off from marriage"? Would I run out looking to be the old single girl that I used to be? Would I run to the night clubs or single in spots to cruise for men? Really after being married for so long what really would I do? Then I thought what would my husband do if given that time without the Godly restraints of marital standards?

I waited until my husband got home and just asked him. The first thing that he said was "you know I don't like questions like this. I don't want to think about life without you not even for a week." I said "oh come on I just want to know. Not that I want this but for the ministry...the ministry!!!" We both laughed and he agreed to answer the question. As I waited to hear what he was going to say now that he had a hall pass to think about having one I noticed that suddenly I really didn't want to know. I didn't want to think that he would want a week off from our marriage.

It seemed like it took him forever to answer the question. Then he sat down and pulled me down with him. He looked into my eyes and spoke softly. Then he just started telling me what he would do if he had a week off from me. This is his week off from marriage hall pass: I would take a nap because I'm tired. Once I wake up then I would fix me something to eat. After that I would watch every sport event on the tube. I would read my bible and do some laundry and then I would get ready for work the next day. After that I would go to bed. The next day I would get up and go wherever you are and bring you home. You see life would not be life for me if you are not there.

I don't need a week off from marriage to run around and find women again. I am so beyond that and I don't desire to see any other face but yours. There is too much work trying to get to know someone else. I already know you and you know me. I married you because I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you for better or for worse. I know this is not what you wanted but this is what I had to give.

It was as if I had been holding my breath waiting for his response because all I knew was that I could breath again. I kissed him with a passion that suddenly rekindled from deep within and believe me we had a great evening (wink wink).
He asked me later on what I would do if he gave me a week off from marriage and I laughed and said that I would do the same thing that he did minus doing the laundry...ha,ha,ha. You see marriage is the highlight of our life. There is nothing out there that I want we have it all inside our own world.

God created us to be social creatures we want to be with someone and grow together. No one said marriage would be easy but as you travel down the road of marital bliss you evolve to another level. As you manage the many seasons of marriage you find that your marriage changes and grows. Before you know it your marriage does not look the same as it did when you first started your marital life. There is no way I would want to go back to the beginning or to the way we were when we were a couple dating each other. 

While we still date in our marriage its not the same. We know each other. We know what each other likes and we don't like. We know how to compromise for the better of the marriage. We love each other but we now know that love is not just physical or emotional. We know that as lovers we have to choose to love each other no matter what. We also know that we must like each other. That other than Lord Jesus we are each others best friends and we must treat each other as we would treat a best friend. 

I could not imagine at this age going back on the single scene. I wouldn't have a clue and wouldn't want to learn what to do. I would just be a servant for the Lord for the rest of my life then to be out looking for love in that way. I am so happy that at 38 years of marriage I am with the love of my life and my friend that can make me laugh in an instant. I was glad that I watched the end of the this movie because it did give me something like this to think about.

I so love how God created us to be in this marital union. As we unite with Him and place Him as the Head of our marital union then we grow like a mighty maple tree. Tall strong with many branches and leaves that grow and change during different seasons. As I think about it now I was not one of those students who wanted to get a hall pass to get out of class. I actually liked being in the classroom learning just like I like being in the confines  of marriage learning to grow for our lifetime. 

There should not be any free hall passes in marriage. Each marriage is different. We all create our lives together that would better the couple that we are and the family that we would one day become or have become. Marriage God's way will guide us through the rough times and celebrate with us during the good times. I can surely say that I'm a better person since I've been with my husband all these years and he states that he feels the same way. That does not mean that we are not strong individuals but our marriage helps our individual selves.

So I guess you are wondering what happened with the movie hall pass. Well the husbands and wives realized that they were too old and happy after all in their relationship. While they found the scenario exciting in the beginning the freedom to go out and just do whatever they thought they were missing got old. They soon found out that they really didn't want that and wanted to be with their spouses. See even in fiction the bottom line is being with the one you have vowed to love through thick and thin is better than running around and having freedom to play. Playing is not something you want to do even for a week. If you want to play its better to play with someone that knows how to play well with you.

Now I give you that very question. If you were given a hall pass from your marriage to do whatever you wanted for a week would you one take it and two what would you do. Write us and let us know.  

Can Separation be a good thing in marriage?

Posted on October 2, 2012 at 10:40 PM Comments comments ()
I never thought I would have to wonder about this subject when it came to my marriage. We have been closely together for over 30 years and really we are closer to 40 years than we are 30. We have always been together. In fact we never really thought about not being with one another.Until now. Recently after all of these years of togetherness we found out that we would have to live apart.

This turn of events came on as a shock. While it was a good shock because my husband had been promoted and part of the promotion was that he would have to live where he worked for months at a time it didn't dawn on us that we had not ever been separated. This got me to thinking. When in marriage is separation a good thing?

We all know that when a marriage is in trouble one of the first things that a couple will result to is separation. While this can be a very hurtful time it can also be a good time. What separation does is allow the couple to explore individually how they feel about their spouse. Its the old saying of you never miss your water until your well runs dry. While it might sound corny it is very true. 

It was not until my husband left that I found that things I once did on my own without thinking I had begun to relay on him to do. Simple things that you take for granted. Such as taking out the trash on trash day. I haven't had to do that for over 30 years. Filling up my gas tank in my car every week. I know pitiful. Or how about sleeping in the bed alone at night? I can't really remember when he was not there beside me.

I thought for a second it would be so good to have the bed to myself. This only lasted for about a day or two. I missed him. I missed just laughing together or talking about our day. I missed his emails and text message saying he was up the street and did I want something. Or him bringing me home a slurpy. 

When we talked on the phone I asked him what did he miss about me? He said that he missed my silly jokes that made him laugh because they didn't make sense. He missed me looking after him and coming home from work and seeing me there. He missed all the conversations that we seemed to have and he missed cuddling at night and going to sleep. 

For so many years this was a given and now with the separation we have time to reflect on just how much we mean to each other. I discovered that sometimes separation is good in a marriage. While its a great time to analyze your feelings about your spouse you also get to miss them. You realize that the grass is not greener in another's yard. You get to look at yourself and want to improve who you are so that you will be a better spouse once you are back together.

When your marriage has hit a rocky spot some times separation can act as a time out. During that time it allows both spouses time to dig deep within and see if the marriage is worth working on. If you have hit this period in your life then during the spousal separation period seek spiritual help. Talk to a Christian counselor or your pastor. Encourage your spouse to do the same. If there is no other recourse but to separate for good then attempt to separate in a cordial and Christian way. This however should be the last result unless one spouse is abusive or actively commenting adultery.

Or if a spouse refuses to work and help support the home and family. This spouse may need some time apart to understand his or her role in the family. However if you find yourself like us and separated for a time then take advantage of this time. Give God thanks for all of the little things that your spouse does for you. Then let your spouse know how grateful you are for them doing these things.
While the two of you are separated send your spouse a letter via the mail (you know that old fashion way we use to send mail) telling your spouse how much you love and appreciate them. Them when you see each other bring the universal gift of love "one red rose". This will tell your spouse that you still love him/her and that you miss and appreciate them.

All in all I do feel that separation in a marriage is very healthy and sometimes so needed.Even in an old stable marriage. 

I Hope You Dance

Posted on August 2, 2012 at 2:07 PM Comments comments ()
For those who have kept up with our ministry over the few years we have been here should know by now our love story. If you don't I will give you a little of it. We fell in love on the dance floor. I love to dance and my husband does too. We have dance through every season of our marriage. Good ones as well as the difficult ones. Our children were brought up dancing and now our grandchildren dance as well. We would hear music and just jump up and start moving. No one cared if it was good or not. We just moved our bodies to the music and had fun. 

My husband and I were in sync from the very moment he asked me to dance. I knew then that I would like to be with him. So what am I really trying to say here I feel you wondering? Marriage like a dance takes time and effort to run smoothly. For some the moment you meet you just naturally are able to follow the dance that is being written. You know that you are meant and you take that step to become one and you just blend. You learn the marriage dance from the very beginning and move forward. 

That's not to say that those couples don't make a wrong step in the dance or are off key. It just means that they can easily move together in the dance of love, commitment, and marital intimacy. What it means is that this couple knows how to follow each other during the dancing process. They know that at different times in marriage one might lead while the other follows. This does not make either of them better it just means that at that time the one leading knows what's needed to accomplish the goals during the phase of their marriage. While the one following is there for support and encouragement.

This phase of the marriage dance for some maybe extremely hard. Instead of following the steps together that will allow them to move on to other phases of the marriage dance they fight for leadership and the dance becomes difficult and awkward. Once they get out of step or cannot figure out the pattern of the marriage dance just like real dancing they appear less cohesive and everyone can see their flaws. 

Sometimes that very couple may not know that they are dancing out of step. They continue with their struggle for leadership of the marital dance. If neither want to yield to the other in order to get the dance steps right then the dance of marriage is a disaster and then that couple needs to seek a dance instructor. That instructor just like a real dance instructor knows the dance and can help you as a couple get back to the real act of the marital dance. 

You will learn the proper dance and begin to enjoy each other as you dance the real dance of marital love. As time goes on as a couple you learn to blend together. During your troubles as with the act of physical dancing you have to take your time and work together to get the steps right. The same thing with the marital dance. You have to work through times of adversity and work together as you learn that marital dance step. Then before you know it you can dance together without looking at each other.

You can dance the marriage dance with ease. Ever watched a couple who has been married for a while dancing together? They seem to be enjoying themselves. They are dancing together with ease. They know their moves. They don't care who's watching. They dance until they can't anymore but while they are doing it they are having fun. If one or both of them miss a step then they will start laughing and keep going.  From their very dance moves you can see how their marriage has grown and blended together.

This couple has learned each other over the years and are now moving together as one unit. They have weathered the storms of different marital seasons. They have learned who should lead and who should follow. They have learned that mistakes maybe made but it can be corrected. Or they could just laugh and keep going with the dance. Most of all they have learned to get the dance right they must learn the steps from the dance instructor. The one who made up the dance in the first place. 

They have learned that the instructor is God. He is the leader and creator of the marital dance. Only He can teach us how to get the steps right. Only He can guide us as we travel through the seasons of marriage. As we lean on Him He will get us to the place where we can just get up and dance as we keep the faith growing in our marriage.

The dance of marriage God's way is being threaten and only those couples who listen to his voice and follow his dance step will make it to a harmonious end. Marriage as given to us by God is for the life of the couple. We want all couples to learn their very own dance as God directs them. It takes time, effort, togetherness and love to keep your dance moving in a progressive healthy forward movement. 

Take the chance and learn the dance. No matter where your marriage is at the moment its never too late to go back to the dance instructor and learn the steps to save you two. We each have our very own couple dance and once we learn it then we can dance together in love for the rest of our marital lives. 

In the end I pray that as a couple you take heed from the words of this song by Lee Ann Womack. It states the following:
give faith a fighting chance and when you get the choice to sit it out or dance
"I hope you dance"!  


Is This All There Is To Marriage?

Posted on July 2, 2012 at 8:19 PM Comments comments ()
Have you every woke up one morning and looked at your spouse as he/she slept and then thought to yourself "Is this all there is to marriage?" Well I'm here to tell you that this happens more often then you think. It doesn't matter if you have been married for one year or over twenty at some point and time you just wonder if there is more too this relationship then just the everyday boring hum-drum.

You stop and think "Just where is the thrill that use to be there? Why do we do the samething over and over? Was my spouse always this boring? I thought he/she would keep me happy? Many times we enter into marriage with the wrong ideas. During our dating period we had been so close always attempting to please each other. We focused our every effort in pleasing our future mates.

Then for most of us we became engaged and the wedding planning was on. Everything was so exciting and things were moving full force for that dream day that would be all about the both of you. That day comes and its the best day ever. Next comes the honeymoon of the century. While you are on your honeymoon in some exotic place or just away from the norm you fall into this thought that life as a married couple will always be like this. 

Then you start the living process and before you know it you get into a routine. A routine that might not change for the course of your marriage. While you still love each other the the things that got you going are no longer the source of your marital excitement. That's when you have that morning wake up call and wonder if this is it?

So this is where we come in. Every couple at one time or another gets to a state where the old thrills no longer move you the way they use to. But this does not mean that its the end of your marriage. No matter when you suddenly start feeling this way then you have to stop and remember the vows of love that you took on your wedding day. You must remember that the initial fantasy like beginning is just that the beginning.

As you grow together in marriage then you have to grow together as one moving in the same direction building a life to the end of your marital life. That does not mean that you have to do everything together all the time, but what you must do is plan on choosing to love each other for a lifetime. You must meet each season with the reality that it has to offer and then see what the two of you can do to keep the sparks still burning. 

Remember each marital season has a different thrill to offer. Your job as a couple is to look for them together. While in the beginning of your marriage fantasy and physical intimacy was the driving force for the thrill as marriage moves to different seasons then you will see that maybe now sitting and talking is the thrill.Striving to obtain a house. Or building a business is the thrill. Having and rearing children is the thrill. Traveling is the thrill. Doing ministry is the thrill. The point is that there is always a thrill we just have to set in our heart to find it and cultivate it.

Looking over the seasons of my own marriage I see the many changes and the many thrills come and go. I remember when we got married in Hawaii and then stayed there for 3 weeks and honeymooned. We had so many plans and dreams. We didn't want to leave because everything seemed surreal. But soon the dream was over and we found ourselves home starting our life. Before we knew it we had children, a house, many jobs and a routine that just would not quit.

Many times I woke up and looked at my own husband thinking "really is this it?" I knew that I loved him dearly and if that was it then I was willing to give it all I had to keep the thrill flaming in our marriage. The seasons kept changing and our focus kept changing and we kept building until we found ourselves at this stage in our marriage. Before I knew it our new season and thrill went into another direction that brought us back to the thrills we had in the very beginning of our marriage.

We are closer now after over 30 years than we were in the very beginning. We are still building our marriage. Growing it everyday. Would most people think we are boring? Well yes but it works for us. The great part of this season is now I get to do all of the things that I wanted to do while we were away on our honeymoon. 

We must make an effort during every phase of our marriage. We must remember that each marriage is different and personal. Some may feel that boring, same old same old, feeling in the first years of their marriage. While others will feel it after many years of marriage. The thing is it will come and knowing that will keep you from terminating your marriage when it does not have to be.

With each season look for the new source of your thrill. Talk with each other. See where you are in the thrill department. Don't leave it to your spouse make the first step to look at your relationship making the changes that will keep your marriage fresh and healthy. Neither of you are perfect. Nor are either of you always right. Plan to work together. Keep God as the head and the author of the direction that you are going in and follow Him.

Everyday no matter what choose to love your spouse and find the effort to see the new source of the thrill. Before you know it your marriage will always move towards the excitement that keeps you two glued together. Even if that excitement is just sitting and looking at each other. This might be the season for sitting and looking as your thrill source in your marriage.

Never give up on each other. Keep looking for ways to grow and prune out the things that no longer work anymore. Marital health is the key source to keeping that loving feeling burning for a lifetime. Just remember if you are feeling that your spouse is boring maybe he/she is feeling the same about you.

As a married couple keep growing and building together for the life of your marriage. 

I Really Do Love Date Night

Posted on April 4, 2012 at 1:46 PM Comments comments ()
I must admit that even after over 30 years of marriage (closer to 40 than 30) that I just love date night. We found out early on in our marriage that date night was so needed. We married young, had children quick, had to complete college and get into the job market and home ownership. Things moved very fast and some days we really didn't see each other.
We discovered that it took most of our earnings to have child care so we decided that one would work days while the other worked nights. The beauty of God is that he put the right people together to do this. My husband is a day person and I'm a night person. So I worked during the night and was home with the children during the day and my husband was home with them during the night. This worked great for the children but didn't do much for our marriage.
We saw each other in passing. We missed each other and that's when we found out that we had to have a day that was just for us. In the beginning when the children were young we had our date nights every Thursday at home in our room. The kids knew that this was our time and once in bed for the night unless there was fire or impending death no one was allowed to knock on our door. During those times we had a picnic on the floor, played games, watched a movie as we cuddled or just rested in each other's arms. We always ended with physical intimacy but lets face it that was the highlight of the evening.
Now we are empty nesters. We only have to take care of the dog and each other. We see each other more than ever and we still have date night. Now in our vintage years we have become more creative with our date nights and its so much fun. With the invention of the smart phone we send texts during the day and say "I love you" in every language as a fun thing to put added spice on our date night adventures.
If you follow 2R1N CHRIST monthly you know that we have our Loveazine which gives you the monthly focus as well as date night tips. We have used these tips ourselves and I just look forward to what we are going to do each week. Sometimes we don't do anything but cling together and talk about our future dreams. At our ages you would think that dreams would be done but not for us. I think it has to do with our date nights. Many times we have our personal bible study time. It allows us to become more spiritually intimate with God as we bond together becoming one in Christ.
If you haven't started your date nights yet then I encourage you to start. If you need tips just click on the button on the website and we will send you our monthly loveazine. If that's too much work then each month we also post the loveazine right on the website.
 Keep the spice in your life and have fun. Date nights allows you to remember why you got married in the first place.

Is there any good news about marriage in the new?

Posted on March 5, 2012 at 5:37 PM Comments comments ()
For those of you who have kept up with us for the past two years you are well aware of the new things that we have added to the ministry. We have a new section that focuses on Bride's fitness. We provide articles about getting in shape to wear your dress on that big day. We have also added the comic section where we take a moment to just laugh at ourselves as spouses. We have expanded our officiant service and have added the link to our new and improved officiant and events service website. While all of this is wonderful we have also added a section that focuses on marriage in the news.
We thought this would be a wonderful way of encouragement and focus on how other people are still enjoying being a couple for life. While in the very beginning I thought this would be so great and was so excited to look at news articles all over the world so I could find something that would be pro marriage. This month I became very discourage.
I had the hardest time finding anything positive about marriage. Every article dealt with some form of same sex marriage or divorce. There were articles about cheating and open marriages. There were many about how to get on after infidelity. I was becoming upset and wondering was anybody talking good about the union of marriage?
So I thought why not look up Christian news articles about marriage? Would you believe that I could not find one that spoke about the joys of being in a God centered union. They focused on cheating, recovery from infidelity and how to get through difficulties in marriage. I could not accept this so I went to the celebrities. Of course I found more of the same and just decided to just leave what I had from last month.
Then by the grace of God Ben Aflack and his wife Jennifer Gardner had there bouncing baby boy. Everything written spoke about them being a very loving family. That they pulled away from Hollywood so they could focus on their marriage and children without the influence of tinsel town. I didn't see anything negative and I took a moment to pray for them to remain in love and stable with the type of jobs that they had in the public eye.
Moral to this dilemma is that marriage is a creation of God and He will always have an example for us to see so we are encourage. Also we must pray for all married couples that they be able to weather the storm that has been raging against them. So there will continue to be "Amour in the News" on 2R1N CHRIST Marriage and Relationship Ministry.

There Is No Spring Without Winter

Posted on February 6, 2012 at 3:41 PM Comments comments ()
I didn't want to talk about this. I know you don't believe me but really I didn't want to bring this up. I was determined not to talk about celebrities and their marriage. I was just going to let this one slide on by. But we have to face the fact that we are a marriage and relationship ministry and we are always looking at what's current about marriage in the news.

Unfortunately  we have those people who are in the limelight at all times and while its not always fair but even when they are having troubles in their home we are all up in it. Most of you have already deduced that I'm talking about the recent announcement to the break up of Seal and Heidi Klum. How could this have happened to them? This was the couple who had been married for 8 years and every year except this one they renewed their wedding vows. 

I was shocked when I found that out. How sweet I focus....what a wonderful way to place your marriage under the words that you said on that day. Many of us don't even remember what we said to each other. That day was a flash in most of our minds. We had worked so hard for that day and then all of the emotions and the words hitting your heart and before you knew it you were married and it was time to let go and have your party and cake.

Then marriage hits you and reality sets in and whatever you said that day not only did you forget but you wish you never said any of it. Those marital seasons hit you and as I've said so many times many of those hard seasons makes you want to really throw in the towel. But that is the real of marriage. The wedding day is just the icing on the cake of marriage. It's the highlight.

It is not the marriage. While I really don't know what this couple's problems are from an outsider looking in what I see is that every year they renewed their vows they wanted to be in the wedding day moment. It was not the words of the vows that was important it was the icing on that happy day cake. We can get addicted to wanting to be in the spring of marriage forever. 

It's a very nice season. All is fresh and new. The future looks bright and your worries are low. You are in that love with life mode and you don't have to face the real. While the concept of renewing your values yearly sounds good maybe what they should have been doing is learning how to work pass that season of promise and then working with those vows to keep then strong during the difficult seasons. Again looking from the outside in it appears that while every year for the first 7 years you played and kept starting over and over with vow renewals then when the 8th year came that real winter season the only way to handle it is to separate and seek the divorce courts. Then go public after each year before you stood smiling again after having your vows being read to you over and over.

This is the winter season that your marriage is in and you need to buckle down put on your warm clothing and shovel the snow. The cold, freezing weather that makes you just want to quit and sit someplace warm doing nothing. The season when in marriage no matter what you do or say things are cold and you are angry for no reason. It appears that your household is falling apart. That the person you married is no longer the love of your life and you just want out. You want to take a vacation to a warm tropical paradise and wait out the cold season.

In marriage you just can not do that. This season while cold and harsh is so needed. Its needed just like during the real winter it clears the air. It kills the germs  and prepares the ground for spring and planting. It puts you in close confinement where you have to deal with each other. Where you have to face what's in front of you...where you have to deal. This is the season that you grab each other's cold hands and you run to Jesus. 

You run and you fall down together on your knees seeking His direction and comfort. You reach out to your pastor and marriage mentors. You throw yourself into marriage ministry looking to find comfort in your searching. You turn on your computer and you find us. Marriage has difficult seasons but those that have walked through them can help you see your way clear. That's where those wedding vows come in.

That's when you remember for better and for worse.
 In richer and in poorer
 To have and to hold
 In sickness and in health
 Until death do us part
 The winter season is the time that you reflect on those vows. You stand on the word of God. You cling together so your marriage can stay warm. You pray and pray and then pray some more. You speak life into your relationship. If you find that the two of you are pulling apart for whatever reason it is then find out ways that you can reconnect. 

While it was stated that they lived very busy lives and their businesses kept them apart then they needed to see what really mattered. God, the marriage, the family, and then business these are the things in that order thats important. We all need to work we must earn our living but after our basic needs are met we must really look at our wants. We must seek the Lord's guidance and ask Him where to place our energies. We must always make and plan time for a date night. Daily time to talk about each other's lives and we must share our hearts during the winter seasons more than another season.

What we must not do is run. Give up. Throw in the towel because just like the real winter season it always comes before spring. Ever notice how much more we appreciate spring after we have a very hard cold and difficult winter? The seasons are needed in life. In a marital couple's life you must stand strong together and then vow to love your way through whatever is facing you.

I have been in prayer for Seal and Heidi and their family. I heard an interview that he did where he spoke with so much love about his wife that I really feel with some mentoring and Godly support they will be a happy couple again. Remember Jesus said He will give us His peace. The Holy Spirit gives us love and joy. Happiness is a byproduct  of joy. You want to have the fruits of the Holy Spirit during this time in your life. I will continue to keep this couple in prayer.

I still feel for them because we should not have to know all of their personal business but that is also part of what they give up for fame. I pray over all married couples because right now marriage is being attacked by satan and we must stand strong and together praying for one another. 

So as I said I really didn't want to speak about this but its needed. You never know maybe some of the celebrities will read this and find a way to live and love in a marital state of bliss. Or as close to it as possible.
So when you are in the cold of winter remember that spring is right around the corner. We love to officiate over the couples who are just starting their marital lives. While the vows are said with love and sincerity  we always have them seal their vows with God's Word. We leave you with this very scripture that we have all of our couples say together. We leave this for you and for us so that we can  remember this during our harsh seasons as well.

Entreat me not to leave you, or to return from following after you, for where you go I will go, and where you stay I will stay. Your people will be my people, and your God will be my God. And where you die, I will die and there I will be buried. May the Lord do with me and more if anything but death parts you from me. Ruth 1:16-17

The Wedding Ring

Posted on November 4, 2011 at 8:12 AM Comments comments ()
The Wedding Ring
"The symbol of joining together in life and love. Once you put that ring on my finger I had no intentions of taking it off. It let the world know that I was in a union. A union that was blessed by God. Even if I didn't have one I would know that I belonged to you and you to me as we belonged as one with Christ. But sometimes when I least expect to I'm looking at my ring and thinking about how I love my wife and being a couple together in marriage."
This was the answer that my husband gave when I asked him how did he feel about his wedding ring. I didn't expect his answer in fact I never thought about the rings I wear. After getting his answer I began to think about the wedding ring and what it really meant.
During our ceremony and when I have married many couples we speak about the rings. The fact that it is an outward symbol our our union. The wedding ring is a complete circle. That continues from beginning to the end and onward. The ring is worn on the third finger left hand. This finger has a direct line that goes directly to the heart. This means that your marriage with its symbol is the closes thing to your life line your heart.
Many men don't wear there ring. Some say because they are not allowed at work this we can understand. Others say they just don't want to wear it. That has always bothered me because he should want the world to know that he has his special lady and that he is hands off. Many ladies state that they don't like to wear their rings. Most say because they can't at work but many say that they don't have to wear a ring to be married. That is true but this token was a major part of your wedding day and something that you can always look at that will lift your mood when you are having a really bad day. Or when you are upset with your spouse just looking at that symbol will take you out of that bad mood.
I do understand that a ring is not the marriage but just like what my husband said I do find myself still looking at my rings that are over 30 years old and maybe outdated and thinking how beautiful they are and how proud of my husband that I am for giving them to me. I want the world to know I belong to someone and just back off. Don't waste your time.
I love looking at the different wedding rings both male and female. I love to hear the story about how the female was asked and was she surprised or not. I love to see the glow in her eyes when she looks at her hand and thinks about her husband. Likewise I found that most of the men that wear their rings love them and are proud to be married. I see that they take their wedding vows serious and the ring is like a daily reminder of this great act of love. 
So what comes into your mine when you look at your wedding ring? Do you still wear your ring? How many times have you thought about the vows you said as you placed that ring on your spouse's finger? Let us know your feelings on this subject.
With this ring I do thee wed!